Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
