Don't you send me to vm
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
