nut hugger
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
