So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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