Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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