Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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