He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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