No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
