is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
