i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
