then he tried to convert me to islam
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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