Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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