Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
