You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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