I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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