i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize