A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
