Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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