So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize