sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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