i think my tv is drunk
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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