Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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