the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Randomize
