we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
