He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
