Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
