i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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