why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize