hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
