Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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