I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
