I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
