TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
