her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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