wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
