Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
