Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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