I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
