i used baking grease as lip gloss
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
