I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
that is very illegal...i love you.
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