Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
