it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
