He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
