he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
