I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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