i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize