I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize