trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just gargled with NyQuil
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
