Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
