it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
