yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
