We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
