we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
