Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
