if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
