My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
