We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
