I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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