and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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