You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
