I don't think brook has ever known best
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
