It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
