Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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