i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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